<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Lost Curse by cardans_tail</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186085">A Lost Curse</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardans_tail/pseuds/cardans_tail'>cardans_tail</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To fear and love [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>the folk of the air - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Couple, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Faeries - Freeform, Fear, Fluff, Jude pregnant, Love, Pain, Pregnancy, Suicide, Twins, Vivi and heather, cardan greenbriar - Freeform, dead, elfhame, fae, jude duarte - Freeform, jurdan - Freeform, jurdan babies, jurdan baby, jurdan twins, married</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:54:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardans_tail/pseuds/cardans_tail</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment her second child was born and he didn’t cry or move, Jude knew what a living hell was. She knew something was wrong, extremely wrong. Nothing could be done, the midwife fae healer said. Jude didn’t want to accept it. Maybe, she thought, maybe it is still too soon. She had heard of babies who hadn’t shown any signs of life until some minutes. She wanted to believe that was the case. </p>
<p>Jude and Cardan’s twins are born. It doesn’t go as planned.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar, Married - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To fear and love [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Lost Curse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello. Decided to write a second part for “Secret Dream”. Again, this is just my second time writing a jurdan fic (so I apologize if I didn’t get their personalities correctly) and I apologize if there’s any grammar mistake (English is not my first language. Please feel free to leave a comment if you liked it or if there’s any mistake so that I don’t make it again). Thank you</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jude was terrified. She had been scared her whole life, had learned to live with it and embrace it, use it as an advantage. But nothing had prepared her for this. The fear she was feeling at the moment was beyond everything she had ever known. She thought she knew real fear while she was trapped in the Undersea, she thought she knew real fear when she was exiled, when someone tried to murder her. Jude had been wrong.</p>
<p>Seeing her first born had made her the happiest mortal woman in this world. She had never been happier, she even felt every flower bloom in Elfhame with the sight of her baby. She knew it because something was blooming in her heart too: love. Undeniable and unbreakable love. </p>
<p>Her child. That was her son, a living creature she had carried in her womb for almost nine months. A being she had imagined, talked and dreamed with for months. Her kid. Tears of happiness had been shed at that marvelous sight. </p>
<p>Jude also knew happiness didn’t last forever, but she had never imagined that her chest could be filled with pure joy and then destroyed, torn to pieces in mere seconds. She should have known better. </p>
<p>The moment her second child was born and he didn’t cry or move, Jude knew what a living hell was. She knew something was wrong, extremely wrong. Nothing could be done, the midwife fae healer said. Jude didn’t want to accept it. Maybe, she thought, maybe it is still too soon. She had heard of babies who hadn’t shown any signs of life until some minutes. She wanted to believe that was the case. </p>
<p>Some seconds passed and Jude thought her heart would leave her body. She was desperate, heartbroken and completely miserable. She felt like she would kill the midwife if her kid didn’t start crying. She needed someone to blame. She then realized that this was all her fault and there was no one to blame but her. </p>
<p>Valerian words echoed in her mind “May your hands always be stained with blood.” and “May death be your only companion.” She had been cursed. All those years ago, she had been cursed and she had forgotten about it. She had thought nothing of it. But now, seeing this horror scene, Jude knew she had been too greedy. She had been happy, truly happy with Cardan as her husband. She had learned to love, and loved had changed her in many ways. She had been happy with her family, she had been happy as a Queen. She had definitely been too greedy. She knew it now. </p>
<p>No one like her, someone who had killed and tortured like her could live a happy life. She was not that lucky. Everything was wrong, the pressure in her chest felt heavier with every passing second. Jude was not breathing. No. She was screaming. Crying. </p>
<p>This was the price she would pay for the lives she had taken. For the life she had lived. Why not me, she thought. Or screamed. She wasn’t sure anymore. She wished it was her instead, she prayed -to whatever mighty creature that might be listening-. Her whole body felt heavy. She was not just sick, she was dying. This feeling was worse than any terror she will ever experience. </p>
<p>She had sewn her own leg, stabbed her own hand with a knife, almost died while she had been captive, she had poisoned herself every night for years and had experienced even more pain in the last ten years but nothing had prepared her for this. And the knowledge that this was her fault just made her want to stab her heart with the knife she kept under her pillow. </p>
<p>She managed to look at Cardan. Her husband. Who had made her laugh and feel loved. Who had stood by her side since the moment he realized his feelings for her were reciprocated. Who hadn’t left her side or dropped her hand since she told him that her water was broken. He was crying, really crying. She didn’t remember if she had ever seen him cry before. He didn’t deserve this, she had brought this upon themselves and he didn’t deserve it. More pain seemed to choke her. </p>
<p>Please, a plea, please let it be me. </p>
<p>So much love and joy she had felt when she had found out she was pregnant. So much. She had been afraid, naturally, but not more than the love she had felt. She had been happy for too long, her curse had finally started to show. I’m still here, it seemed to say, don’t forget about me. What you have done. What you deserve. </p>
<p>More tears and pain. How much time had passed? Had it been a minute already? Was her son truly gone? </p>
<p>She prayed again, offered a bargain, and prayed some more. She looked at Cardan again, still crying. He seemed to be praying too. Even if he didn’t know to whom or if he was doing it alright. He must believe this was his fault, somehow. But it wasn’t, this was all hers. </p>
<p>Jude had decided that if her son was genuinely dead, she would tell Cardan whose fault this was and, then, she would kill herself. She knew she would be able to live with the guilt of pain of her loss. Her firstborn would be better without her, Cardan would be a great father anyway. She had always known that. He had read mortal books about parenthood, asked Taryn anything that could be useful for parenting and babies, had even grown plants to make sure he could take care of a living thing for more than one week. He had been so excited, she had thought she looked like a little boy whenever he would talk to her belly. His love for their kids had been obvious since the moment she had confessed to him she was pregnant. Yes, their son would be in good hands. They didn’t need her. No. They didn’t need a murderer like her. </p>
<p>She was so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t noticed the little sound that cut through the room’s silence. No, she hadn’t, but she did notice Cardan’s hand leaving hers. That made her turn her gaze towards him. He was now standing, not more tears running down his face. He seemed in shock, he took a step forward. Slowly, as if he was afraid of breaking whatever hope he had found inside himself. That’s when she noticed it. The sound, a soft cry. Her eyes instantly went to the kid producing that sound. </p>
<p>When Cardan finally reached the midwife who had been holding their second born in her arms, a sob escaped Jude’s throat. Her husband took their baby in his arms and smiled. The most beautiful and happiest smile he had ever seen on his face. Their second born cried again, harder and louder this time. Then a little hand was raised and seemed to try to touch Cardan’s face. </p>
<p>Another sob was heard, this time from Cardan, and she realized he was crying. Tears of joy. She was also crying too. Relieved and delighted. Their son was alive. Everyone in the room seemed to breathe normally again. Jude included, whose chest was finally feeling lighter again. Cardan moved his arms softly, still holding their son, that smile still on his face. She was smiling too. Everyone was smiling too. </p>
<p>A midwife walked toward Jude with their first baby on her arms and offered him to her. She gladly took him. She was still on bed, completely sweated, with wet tears still on her face, loosened hair and still a little lost. But she knew now that both of her babies were alright. Safe. And she was overjoyed. </p>
<p>Her firstborn was so small and beautiful, he appeared to fit in her arms perfectly. His black curls, pointy ears and tail made her smile broadly. Then he opened her eyes and a pair of walnutirises were set on her. She touched his cheek tenderly with her fingers. </p>
<p>Everyone in the room left and only Cardan, Jude and their babies remained. Her King strode to their bed and took the place he had taken since the birth had begun. Next to Jude. </p>
<p>She was looking at him with their kid. He looked at her. His eyes expressed everything he didn’t say. Love, fear, relief, happiness, tiredness and much more. Her eyes expressed the same. They both held their kids until Cardan passed her their second born because he seemed to be hungry. He was hungry. More tears of joy filled her eyes. </p>
<p>She hadn’t even had the opportunity to look at him till this moment. He was so similar to his brother. Though he had chestnut hair. Her hair. And black irises. They were both so small but even now she had to admit they both looked almost exactly like Cardan and it wasn’t just because they both had tails. Sure, they both had inherited a part of her but those were Cardan’s face. </p>
<p>The High King and Queen of Elfhame stool by their kids' side for days, afraid of leaving them for just a minute. Afraid of everything being a dream. </p>
<p>It wasn’t until a week had passed that Jude confessed to her husband the thoughts that had crossed her mind while they all believed their kid was dead. She had been afraid of the reaction he might have, she had expected him to be mad, furious with her, to blame her. He didn’t. He just hugged her and told her a confession himself: he had also blamed himself for it. He had also remembered Valerian’s curse and blamed himself for it. “He would have never cursed you if you hadn’t tried to kill him. That 's true. But he would have never tried to kill you if it wasn’t for me. To please me, in his odd way”. She couldn’t believe it. The fact that Cardan could blame himself for something like that, something that was so obviously not his fault. </p>
<p>She hugged him back. They both cried. Relieved. Happy. Together. A family. They proceeded to go back to their royal chambers then, where both of their kids were waiting for them. Safe and sound. </p>
<p>Another week after that, Jude and Cardan had gone almost back to normal. What they had felt could not be forgotten easily, no, it would follow them for sometime. But knowing that they were not alone, that they had each other and their beautiful and healthy kids with them made it easier. The fact that they practically had no time to think or rest because of their kids also helped a lot. They were exhausted and jovial. </p>
<p>Three weeks after Jude gave birth, they received a present. From Heather and Vivi. She opened it with Cardan behind her, looking over her shoulder while trying to hold both of their babies. He liked to do that. Loved it, actually. </p>
<p>They both laughed at the presents. This was Vivi’s idea. Jude grabbed one of the bodies and held it in front of her so they could both take a good look at it. A costume of a snake for a baby. Jude turned it to look at its back and found that there was also a hole for a tail. And that was Heather’s doing. </p>
<p>There was a time when Jude thought she could never ask for more than just being accepted by the Fae. Then, she wished for more. To be Queen. Later, she realized that she craved for something more dangerous and deep than that: Cardan’s love. She had achieved all of that. </p>
<p>Jude could not imagine to ask for more than what she had now: a happy family.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello. Decided to write a second part for “Secret Dream”. Again, this is just my second time writing a jurdan fic (so I apologize if I didn’t get their personalities correctly) and I apologize if there’s any grammar mistake (English is not my first language. Please feel free to leave a comment if you liked it or if there’s any mistake so that I don’t make it again). Thank you.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>